it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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