do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
