Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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