Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize