Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
