She is in my trunk
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
