I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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