You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
