Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
