my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i think i scared a bird with my dick
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
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