I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
