all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
