I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
