Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Panties = found
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
