I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
