My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
