I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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