I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
