omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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