Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize