so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
