Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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