If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
