why didn't you poke me back
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
