if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
