I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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