I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
cat food counts as protein by the way
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
