I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
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