No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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