brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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