I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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