you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize