we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
