you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
