I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize