Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize