Is it because I queefed?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
