Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
