Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
