Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
