Pappa wants mamma naked
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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