get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
