a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
