The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
