I want to make a zoo with you.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
