Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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