no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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