After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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