tell your sister to shave her snatch
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
