Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
