Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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