eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
