When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
