oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I feel great
I just peed on a car
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
