You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
