Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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