There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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