Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
3pm strippers are depressing
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize