We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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