Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
