Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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