I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
