shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
