Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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