Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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