What did we do last night that was yellow?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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