dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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