i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
